Sunday, July 22, 2007

Random Dreams with Inappropriate People

I'm losing some of what I was planning on writing since my dog woke me up quite abruptly barking like the the sky was on fire but we'll try, if not for any other reason than this was one of those dreams where when I was having it I was kind of conscious of it being a dream, and then after I lost it I spent quite awhile dreaming and formulating how I would present and write it here ( yeah, I am a gigantic nerd) but of course I don't remember the part where I planned this post so this is probably going to be scatterbrained, just a bit.
Anyway what I still remember about my dream is this:
Dee Marian (I usually don't use full names so as to protect the innocents, but google vanity searches are always fun [and if you happen to come across this; Hey!]) a friend from UMass was visiting me, I think at Duke, and her and I were just sort of discussing life and a lot of different things, and were getting on swimmingly, which was quite a relief and quite a nice surprise because when I said she was a friend, it is a very different definition of friend I guess, in this Facebook world. I think I friended her because she was in some trans related Facebook group and I was searching for some sense or kind of community. The fact that she was way too gorgeous to be Dave I guess sparked the friend thing (so yeah in my world someone I've never actually met can be considered a friend. It's all so PoMo.)[speaking of which I really don't know why I haven't changed my name on there yet; I have no idea what I'm waiting for. Okay I'll do it once I get my job and new place. Agreed. Hasani Anthony, you're slipping farther away each day]
I think the conversation was a relief to both of us, and also beneficial because, I guess it was on her away message at some point, where she wished she had one transsexual friend, sort of bemoaning the fact that she didn't, and I know there have been plenty of times I wish[ed] the same thing (I may have mentioned her before on this site, possibly on a post dealing with a pick me up- but I'm too lazy to check [here it is])- though not the somewhat bipolar trans friend I had at Duke, which is a long story for another day. But back to the dream we decided to go out someplace and there was some other girl sitting on the canopy bed with us, and the poor thing was putting lipstick on her cheeks and rubbing it in trying to use it as a blush. Dee did her make-up quite quickly and I was really impressed. So we went out and it feels like we went to some type of theater, or a place that has pamphlets about the arts on a table outside and Dee asked for a few so I picked them up for her, but then when we got inside and it was more of a club and I ran into one of my favorite teachers ever, Robin Kirk. I talked to Prof. Kirk for a while ( I don't care if she's not actually a professor she damn well deserves to be, especially with all the amazing things she's done in her life) then Dee and I sat at an elevated table with like bar stools (like at my favorite place on earth Dain's) and then my esteemed colleague Everlyn showed up and she has like a gallon sized pitcher of something that she was drinking. Dee seemed to be having a good time, was really friendly and outgoing and I noticed her hair was now rather dark, possibly black. We all were having fun then Everlyn fell off her stool and then I was overcome by laughter and I fell to the floor basically convulsing with laughing over her embarassment ( I am such a bad person, I know)
And thats when [in real life] I felt a draft and still trying to retain my dreaming state, adjusted the covers and I lost the dream, which made me a little upset because I wanted to see how things ended and I couldn't get it back. And in this dream I realize that I was picturing myself only from my p.o.v. I never had a third person perspective of what I looked like, which added to my confusion when Dee at some point teasingly said that people would think I'm her boyfriend [?] I didn't understand it either. But more importantly this is the second dream within the past few weeks which I remember where much of it just involved me connecting with people and talking about some emotionality, with people I view as important to me.. Maybe its a sign I'm missing something in life, or maybe they were just random synapses firing. Either way...

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