Sunday, June 24, 2007

Well, I guess

Since today is National Forgiveness Day (though I am totally not sure about the date) I decided to let bygones be. (it was created for such petty indulgences and arrogant acts of magnanimity I'm sure.) So the following is a list of things or people that I will be bigger than.

Mel Gibson- Sure he's antisemitic, homophobic (I don't know why I'm even pretending to forgive this guy, ugh) and a little too in to violence for me, how could I stay mad at the man who made this (oops sorry that was the Italian version. I meant this:
I must admit however, that whenever I watch Braveheart again I notice the incredible violence and remember The Passion and Apocalypto and one of the only things I can think about is that South Park skit.

Tom Cruise- He's enough of a joke, his popularity is down and is widely disregarded. Why kick a man when he's down (unless he makes Beck and Posh Scientologists.) I'm ready and willing to forgive though some people are not that into him. Katie Holmes was crazy anyway (and stole my friend's name, whore.) Plus Suri is sooo adorable.

These zookeepers in Taiwan- For shooting and tranqulizing this poor, defenceless orangutan who was only enjoying his freedom by throwing a few things. (stick around to the end, it is so worth it.)

Even though he's been threatening to cut off the world's supply of the stuff that makes cola...no, wait I refuse to forgive the ambassador from Sudan. Save Darfur fucker.

Rocky Delgadillo, L.A. City Attorney- I forgive him for sending Paris to jail on an overly long sentence, while the whole time his wife had a bench warrant out on her, hired city staff to baby sit and crashed a city car without a licence. His career will suffer enough without me piling on.

Prince William- Oh wait that was Kate, or vice versa.

Michael Jackson
- "He made Thriller, Thriller."

The producers and studio chief who went ahead with Evan Almighty- They're going to need some friends for a long, long, long, long , long while. Poor Lorelai and Michael.

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